who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
