On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
