apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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