OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
