it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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