FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
