the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
