I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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