its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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