all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
