True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
