Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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