Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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