Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
