Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize