Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
