Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
