atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
