My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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