Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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