Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
