marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
