Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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