Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
