So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
