She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
