The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
