so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
