Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
