That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
