Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
