i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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