honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize