I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My vagina just clenched in fear
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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