That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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