Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You are a genius and a whore.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
