Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
