I just made out with a guy for $7.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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