Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
