just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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