BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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