he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
