What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
