Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Panties = found
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