I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
