dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
