Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
