i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
