I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
