You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
