is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
