So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize