Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
