We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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