You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
