You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
