where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
pray to the hookup gods
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
