Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
