Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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