I wish they made helmets for livers.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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