i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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