Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
