Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
