i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
